Records and records players go together like ... iPods and MP3's. If you had been able to go back in time and tell your parents that one day you could fit thousands of songs on a device that fit in the palm of your hand, they probably would have decided it was better for the two of them to part ways so as to avoid giving birth to such a dumb kid in the future.

The musical relationship between record and record player began back in the 1900s, but took a turn for the worse when the record player became abusive. Staying out at bars till all hours of the night, he would come home and beat the poor record, leaving cuts and scratches that completely ruined the record's unblemished face. No longer of any use to the record player, the poor record was forced to wander the streets, going from one used music store to the next, gathering dust in a crate, hoping that one day she would be rescued by a handsome college student, who didn't mind that she skipped tracks and had a slight stutter.

But let's put their ugly past behind us, and focus on the future. Now the record has found a new player, in the basement of a college kid's apartment, and she is gettin down like never before.

Only:
$16.95